Blog Update 4-12-19 Continued

Hello everyone in my previous post I begin to speak about how I became a mark for an I woman I met 2o yrs ago named Bella. I became a mark to her in a way that she saw me as access to have reason to be around my step dad at the time 20 yrs ago. Beleive or not I and my mom are now divorced from our marriage partners and those two continue to be together.

I am tired Of The Same Old Hurtful Love

What tears me up the most is Bella, knew what I went through in my marriage before her and how my ex-wife at that time frame in my life, was harrassing me and after Bella, witnessed what I went through she told me that she would never hurt me like that.

Like a fool I bought into those words that turned out to be a lie. I wanted to so beleive that she was heartfelt with those words just to find out 19 yrs later that pretty much everything Bella, told me was just lies, I say lies because she admitted to me that her words meant to draw me in with no desire of attachment on her end and her words worked because they drew me in.

This past year during 2018 I tried to bury those hurt feelings and it has turned into anger within me and that anger has turned into bitterness and trust issues and it has affected me in a way where those trust issues affected trusting Ana, deep down I know Ana, has been through her own rough patch in life and she is pretty much on the same page as me wanting not to be hurt again at her age but to have a partner that respects her for who she is, just like I am looking for the same.

This bitter anger is detroying my faith walk with Jesus Christ. I don’t feel comfortable writing content about God because deep down I am struggling with my faith walk right now and I wouldn’t want a Christian being fake selling me snake oil for I know how that feels for Bella did this to me.

Before I wrote this content I did go before the Lord and asked for forgiveness and insight to push forward with my faith walk stronger and I do beleive because Jehovah is a redeemer and healer I will bounce back from this set back in life and begin to write hertfelt contnent about God to encourage others to fight through their life struggles. This is not me giving up No! I’m a fighter deep within and I will bounce back from this and I will write inspiring content that the Lord places on my heart again.

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