Hello Lord, in 2017 I found out my wife that I was with for 19 years was cheating on me and then by early 2018 I became divorced and I thought the current year (2019) would be the year of returning to normalcy with life.
I was so wrong. I say this because the depression got worse and I began to close off my relationship with people including you God. I did this because I felt if a woman I was with for 19 years could violate my trust like she had then I was open to the possibility of it happening again and being side blinded by it.
Lord, I obviously wasn’t thinking clearly or placing trust in you Lord, this process lead to anger within and I begin to feel defeated because I love to write and this blog is geared towards christian content, but my faith walk became little to none and I didn’t want to fake it till I make it back to my faith walk with you Lord, so I abandon the blog and the calling you placed on my life.
Lord,I have this pattern with relying on my perception of protection instead of relying on you Lord for protection. As, you can see that option of self reliance just aided in me pushing people that care about me out of my life. 😢
Lord, I am sorry for running please forgive me, and please help my harden heart to learn how to beat again with true love from Heaven.
Your Son, T.e.c.k.