This post is a lengthy response to Rick’s post via @What’s On My PC
Author Notes: When I choose to be obedient to the Holy Spirit to create the off topic post About What’s On My PC I had no idea that the Holy Spirit had this testimony in mind after corresponding with Rick, author of @What’s On My Pc (You can find a link to Rick’s reply of the post I posted about @What’s On My PC at the bottom of this post.
The Holy Spirit Drives Opportunities
Recently the Holy Spirit nudged me to write the off topic post to pay respect to Rick, @What’s On My PC because I started a tech blog in 2005 and Rick came on the scene of WordPress.com by 2008 and added my tech blog (Teck~Line) to (What’s On My PC) blog roll. As a writer I was struggling and thought the Teck~Line blog was okay but Rick wrote his experience was different and that drove him to place Teck~Line on his website blog roll.
Shortly afterwards I left WordPress.com and Teck~Line became still in time. I felt bad that Rick, added Teck~Line and then I left shortly afterwards. (No notice I abandon the Teck~Line blog)
Why Did I Leave
The depression of losing my dad and what I said to him on his dying bed haunted me for many years. Many of the Soulja of Hope community knows I had a rough childhood but nobody knows (until now) I told my dad off because the anger within me as he was dying on the hospital bed before me (This time frame was his 2nd stroke). My dad became a Christian after his first stroke and lived five years living for Jesus Christ, He couldn’t speak well but his actions lead hundreds to Christ. I know so because many of them that were around him daily came to the funeral to thank God for my dad’s dedication to Jesus Christ, because my dad’s Christ like actions lead them to Jesus and their testimonies displayed such. (Side Note: The funeral staff was shocked and concerned because the seats where full and the building was full, people were lined up outside even because they couldn’t get in because of no space left within the building) That day Jesus Celebrated my dad’s new found eternal life and God displayed my dad’s faithful work unto the Kingdom of Heaven. My dad became Kingdom driven and my dad’s personal letter to me drives my passion for God today when I felt unreachable to God back then.
My dad’s letter to me in the front of the bible, please note it is not word for word it is paraphrased to drive the core message. One of the nurses also came in on their off day and sat 8+ hours to write the letter to me as my dad struggled for 8+ hours to speak a few paragraphs.
Letter to my son, found in the front of the bible my dad gave me in 2005
I am sorry for how I treated you, and I understand your anger towards me. Son, Jesus loves you more than I ever can or will be able to from this point forward. I wasn’t living life for Jesus when I hurt you and now after my first stroke when I was inward bound for hell, Jesus saved me and now I live a life of gratitude and worship unto Heaven in daily worship unto Jesus.
Son, I know I will be in heaven before your heart changes from anger to driven for God, because God revealed that truth to me. Son, you must forgive others and forgive yourself before this can happen in your life. Son, the glory of God is bigger than any human and I am living Jesus’s legacy like other obedient Christians are and God wants you to fill your unique God given gifts to further God’s kingdom and you are smart enough to awake and lead God’s slumbered army towards Heaven as long as you do it through Jesus Christ, and not yourself. (God is the Key for all this to happen and your constant obedience unto God) Son, Jesus is the focus point and we are the vessel to drive God’s Holy business through His word power and strength here on earth because all souls matter to God.
Liked mentioned In 2005 my dad gave me a bible for my birthday and I was mad because before my dad gave me a small of amount of money for my birthdays. Because my dad couldn’t speak well I sat there for 1hr as he struggled to tell me that the he gave the bible to me, because the bible was worth more than any money amount. After I left from visiting my dad I went home and threw the bible in a box. A year later he passed away and I had the matter of telling him off as mentioned above
2011 Became A Defining Moment In Life.
During 2011 I moved and my wife at the time found the bible in the box while unpacking and I asked her to place it on my computer desk. I ended up opening the Bible randomly to Jeremiah 29:11 I will be honest here I became very made at God because God was reaching out to my heart through Jeremiah 29:11 which is considered a promise verse. God knows how my dad broke me mentally breaking promises all the time. A few months later it became 2012
2012 Teck~Line Becomes Reborn Into Soulja 4 Christ
Shortly after reading Jeremiah 29:11 during 2011 I asked God into my life, and shortly after that it became 2012 and Teck~Line Became Soulja 4 Christ, through the url change option.
2012 through 2019 My Life Became a Mess
Note my dad passed away in 2006 and I was burying the pain of what I said on my dad’s death bed. This inner pain cause me to run from God because I didn’t want to deal with the inner pain. By 2017 Soulja 4 Christ blog still displaying publicly the aspect of me running from God still and on top of that I was now faced with the hurt being with my wife for 19 yrs was coming to an end.
End Of 2017 Through The End Of 2019
For the most part the Soulja 4 Christ blog was struggling to stay afloat and I abandon the blog just like the Teck~Line blog. Most of 2018 the Soulja 4 Christ blog was dead in the water with some inconsistent blog posts during 2018. Spring of 2019 my drive for God became stronger and I tried to reflect God’s love towards individuals but the pain of the divorce and my dad ate at me and I struggled to not feel fake behind the screen sharing posts here on the blog. By June of 2019 God was asking me to lay rest to my sinful Character and I ignored God and by December 2 weeks to 2020 God approached me again and December 31st 5 mins to midnight I fell to my knees pouring everything before God.
2020 New Beginning, New Direction, (God Directed)
Shortly into 2020 the Holy Spirit approached me and asked me to lay the name Soulja 4 Christ to rest for many reasons and rename the blog to Soulja of Hope, because this name reflects God’s gift of hope while we are the obedient vessel for God to drive that hope.
Current Time Frame
2020 is here and pushing forward and the Holy Spirit askes me to reach out to Rick, author of @What’s On My Pc and at first I was reluctant to do so, because I felt shame how I didn’t even thank Rick, back then for including Teck~Line to his blog roll. Out of all honesty I didn’t know nor did or does Rick, know the Holy Spirit had this reply to Rick’s post in mind.
Keeping it Real (My Final Words)
Soulja community when I awoke I didn’t expect a post coming from Rick, on his blog, and it brought me to humble tears that allowed the Holy Spirit to bring matureness to approach the pain I wrote above to bring forth more enrichment to readers of Soulja of Hope, Before I knew Rick posted a response post I was struggling to keep going with my faith walk but rick wrote the following.
Quoted From Rick,
please continue spreading the Word of God in the manner for which you are so good at. I don’t think you realize that you are and can be an inspiration to others who don’t know Christ and inspiration to others who face struggles where they feel there is no hope.Rick, Author @What’s On My Pc
The Holy Spirit used Rick’s words (above) to create a stronger desire within me to keep fighting the good fight for God even when it becomes grim because the Holy Spirit showed me that it is bigger then me and this blog and it is about coming together as a Soulja-Fam through the power of Jesus Christ,
God made it clear to me through my dad’s letter and Rick’s post I am one of God’s leaders to help God facilitate gathering up God’s mighty army and to help others through the direction of the Holy Spirit to drive the direction of God’s Army that is to arise in the direction of the great commander in Heaven.
I felt lead by the Holy Spirit to add to this post what my mom wrote on her Facebook profile I am also including the video she posted with her writing below.
No matter what you are going through, don’t quit whether it is emotional pain or physical pain…think and believe you are a overcomer…
Isaiah 41:13 (KJV)
13 For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee