Welcome To S.o.H
God says we must live as an example towards others so Jesus Christ, can be seen in our lives. I don’t feel right picking up writing again as the Holy Spirits guides me to write, without first apologizing… I say this because it became known to me through the Holy Spirit,that past posts offended and may have hurt others in not a Godly way. This is my fault I have no one else to blame I am the writer behind this platform and the Holy Spirit should have remained the author that sparks the writings here… Plain and simple I lost my way and I lost my focus upon Jesus Christ, and because of that lost of focus content wasn’t at its best to promote Jesus Christ, it started to promote the pain within me.
No excuses belong here. Losing my focus upon Jesus Christ, was the main issue because the focus shifted to my inner pain within, I have no one to blame but myself for the issue that cause me to walk away from SoH a little over a week ago. I walked away because the Holy Spirit said to me enough is enough hand over the keys to the platform God has entrusted you with. The Holy Spirit hasn’t given me permission to come back to full time writing either, that may happen at a later time… Right now my focus needs to be on retraining my focus to be upon Jesus Christ! I have been reflecting through the word of God lately and I believe the more I do this the better the content here will become to bring focus upon Jesus Christ.
It was very wrong of me to push forward in my own strength to try and build this platform from the ground up and here I’m again at the start line after 7 months of work even though I started out with my focus on Jesus Christ, and the directing of the Holy Spirit, I lost my way and got myself back at the start line. I’ll say it again I have no one to blame but myself for this.
When I said the bold prayer in 2015 the very prayer that sparked the position of this platform 5 yrs later. During that prayer session I told God I wanted nothing to do with following other trends I wanted to set the bar high and become a trend setter for Jesus Christ. Well, I failed that aspect didn’t I? I sure did! and I don’t like that aspect either… I have a lot of failures attached to my life belt and my mindset kept those failures around within my mind. A couple of days ago I was crying out towards God, and said I went against everything I spoke about in the prayer during 2015.
The very platform that was gaining spotlight is the very same platform I’m now apologizing with the spotlight fully in effect, To be honest I told God, I wanted to hide this failure and just move forward, but this is not the elements of honest character and integrity, I thought to myself if God is going to bring from this platform beyond the blog aspect how will lead for Jesus Christ, if I just hide the failure and try to move forward… The raw answer is I cannot. I do feel embarrassed having to admit this I do feel sad before the Lord, that I failed Him, like this when Jesus Christ, went the extra mile to literally save me from hell.
I thought to myself how could I betray Jesus in a Judas way like this… before I came on here to write this post I had to admit to this aspect and make things right before the Lord, Jesus truly forgives His action on the cross displays such! (John 3:16) I had to believe such to begin to receive that forgiveness… Yes I had fallen before the Lord almighty and others but the fall cannot become the focus Jesus Christ,is the true focus here and because of Jesus I’m able to stand back up and face this mess I caused…
I’m truly very sorry,I have also learned from this, and I will Soulja Up Like Ana, always reminds me to for the Lord, I will get past this point in my faith walk and this will become a distant memory but for now it is still fresh and this why I felt before the Lord I needed to address this matter.
Many of you know I was trained from a young age that males don’t cry because it is seen as weakness, Soulja Squad, I have been crying a lot lately and it feels good to let the pain within come out in the form of tears… I’m actually crying as I write this post because I didn’t just fail Jesus, I get it now I was running from the responsibilities this platform requires to run and one of the many responsibilities is to direct you guy’s towards Jesus and not my inner pain…
If you feel the need to unfollow I understand I broke trust if you choose to stay please forgive me, as I, strive to make right through the guidance of the Holy Spirit to navigate this platform out of the recent mess that God entrusted me to lead with… My dreams are to become a life coach/motivator, to point others towards Jesus, because Jesus told me that He had me pulled from hell to point others to His true love, mercy and forgiveness. My dream is not to just write about those aspects of Jesus here only I would like to travel and speak in person about such aspects as well!.
I feel very broken right now before the Lord, and this brokenness is where I need to be right now to realize without Jesus then this platform needs not to exist… God is truly changing me in the background and the Spiritual boot camp I am facing right now can only strengthen me more deeper through the power of Jesus Christ.
Abba, Thank you for another chance I realize my wrong doings and I will not allow it to continue Jesus I need you in all aspects of my life, and I pray Lord, as you entrust me to push forward that the content here promotes you in deeper aspect, I am thankful to see the start line again for this allows for a better restart thank you Jesus Amen.