I’m posting this public forgiveness for my ex-wife to read plus my hopes are others will become encouraged to forgive individuals that have hurt you.
Taking The Higher Road Because God Desires Such
It has come to my attention recently that my ex-wife reads this blog so I decided to write this post so, I can move forward with the healing process. when it come to light she was cheating on me our marriage come to an end even though I tried on my end to forgive and reconcile the marriage but she wasn’t for the reconcile aspect instead she dedicated the following song and said some very hateful things when I asked her what her reason for dedicating this song. The words I will not repeat here that she said to me combined with the song below has haunted my mind for the past two years,
I Must Admit
Up until 10 months ago I was listening to the song below thinking how I could get revenge against you, Ana, saw towards the end of our – martial relationship how you verbal abused me and a few times tried to choke me out. She witnessed the true hatred you had towards me, and Ana, also saw how your hatred was eating at me within and how I would have sleepless nights, night after night planning the ultimate revenge since I have a track record of creating victims from revenge from my past lifestyle
Ana, knew deep down nothing good was going to come out of me getting revenge and so did I, but I was so hurt by you, and that hurt fueled my thoughts to get revenge… But I never did, because 1. Even though I’m good at getting revenge I couldn’t bring myself to be on the same level as you. 2. As I get older revenge I see now as childish and even though my thoughts were fueled by the hurt you provided, I couldn’t bring myself to become childish like I have been in the past with other individuals.
So, no revenge then, what do I have left? forgiveness! This is the route I’m choosing because I want to heal and live honorable before God (Yahweh) even though you made it clear to me God is not important to you, but He is important to me and the Lord, says we must forgive. So, the thoughts of
revenge is being replaced with thoughts and action of forgiveness.
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
So, by choosing to forgive I am not doing for you, I’m doing to let go of the pain you caused me that fuels hatred, bitterness, and malice thoughts. I choose to live as a child of God, so the only option I have is to let go of the pain within and forgive, and display mercy by not seeking revenge, with the action of living out forgiveness towards you.
Abba, I admit my ex-wife hurt me greatly with her words and actions and revenge is not the route you want me to seek but forgiveness is the route you prefer me to seek so, this is the route I desire to seek which is forgiveness! Oh, Lord, please help me live out forgiveness for the pain within is great and
revenge is of my old lifestyle and I have destroyed individuals emotionally in the past through revenge and I don’t want to be guilty of such before you Lord, anymore so, Lord, I seek your power, your authority, your heart of mercy and forgiveness for this what the Fathers heart desires for me to do in this situation Amen!